the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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