Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
