It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
