My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Randomize
