I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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