i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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