do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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