This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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