your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
