so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
