loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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