You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i now understand why vodka
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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