I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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