I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
