i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
