I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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