how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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