what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
