My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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