Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
