Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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