I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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