but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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