yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
