remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
