Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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