I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Its about making memories worth repressing
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
