After last night, I could never be a politician.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
