I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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