The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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