my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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