Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
