Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
