i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
