Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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