It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
