My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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