Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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