He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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