I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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