Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
