Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
