I just made out with a guy for $7.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
