the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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