apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
