We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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