Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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