No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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