Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
