Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
