Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
