batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
try to milk me bitch
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
