he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I booty called her while she was in labor.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Randomize