if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
