id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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