I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize