hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
