Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
