hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
